While or When I am 30.

When I was a teen there was a teacher intern who was 30.  So many girls had a crush on him...and Brad Pitt (who was also 30).  Not me.  I thought it was stomach churning to have a crush on someone so old.  I was confused about it all and all that I did know was that when I was 30 that was when I would obviously have reached all of my goals in life.

15 years later....

My life has turned out so different than I thought it would.  I do not work for some major corporation making huge masses of money living in a sky-rise with a gorgeous view of an obstructed sunset.  Instead, I have a child who is just like me and knows it and of course desperately is trying to be herself (and doing a great job Miss Fabulous).  I have a husband who works his butt off to provide for us because he loves us so much and I live along the coast in a rural area that is probably one of the most beautiful places that I have ever lived.

I had all these hopes and dreams and wants and needs in my life and thought that for certain that by the old age of 30 I would have them all.  What I did not expect and am still living in, is a 30 in which God has decided to spend a year showing me that my life turned out wonderfully and blessed and no matter what has happened or who I have run into or anything else, I am okay. God did decide to take time out from His life and work a bit on me.  There is nothing wrong with me and whatever my dreams were it is okay that they changed over the years and I am going to come out the other side of 30 accomplishing much more than I ever hoped.  I know myself.

So, no matter what, my life is blessed and so am I and wish me luck because there is another 153 days to go for God to get through to me.  I love you guys.

Dear Diary,

I am an adult.

Signed,

Here is what I mean.  You have yours friends.  We all do however then you have those friends who absolutely will not under penalty of death, just swing on by without an invitation.  We all have those people who would annoy the whatever out of us if they did just show up.  But ya know, I wish, just wish that some of my friends who feel the freedom to say hello more often.  It would seem that a formal "how do you do" is in order for the lot of them.  It almost seems as if that is what adults are supposed to do.
I say this because not 5 years ago life was completely different in this aspect.  People felt okay with just swinging on by at dinner time or whenever it pleased them and there was no formal (or any kind of) verbal invite needed.  Now, maybe I'm old?  Maybe, when a person ages, their manners become an unwritten necessity?  Why should my friends feel the need for all of this stuff and nonsense?  Because I might be busy?
Here is an unwritten rule that I am making up as of right now:

If you and I hang out, goof off, crack each other up, and talked about "issues" in the same day, come on over unannounced.  I am never too busy to see your bright and shining bea-u-tiful face.  This also goes for if you have come over for a fish fry...ever.

Lots of love to you all and remember, keep smiling!

Opened Up a Can Of ....

I started seeing a counselor about a month ago.  Well, we started started seeing one.  She is an amazing Christian counselor who isn't offensive or out to send anybody off to get on meds.  So a whole can of worms was opened up when we started.  I knew things were bothering me and that I couldn't get past them, however I never expected  to feel tossed about and turned upside down all the while being able to think clearly for once.

Then it happens, a very good unnamed person says to me, "Hey, you there! You've been acting differently!" (This of course is not what was actually said but you get the point)  "No I haven't" I say but this person is insistent.  Okay people, when you go to talk to someone so that you can get an outside point of view, sometimes ya feel better!  Just better.  You learn that life isn't perfect and that you don't have to please people and then "voila!" happens.  In my special case, "viola" means that I can think straight and am able to handle stress.  No more panic attacks.  Yes, people, after one month, your favorite whatever-I-am-to-you is happy! Just imagine how I'll be after a whole year! Maybe even (wait foooorrrrr it) fine and dandy!

* disclaimer -happiness is not a bad thing and neither is feeling any emotion at all. thank you and have a good day!

The Confused Thoughts of This 30 Something Wife

So I have been reading my own blog and I have
realized that my blog falls under the severely boring category.  I write on it for a myriad of reasons (when I remember to) however the thoughts that I have put upon these pages have only been occasionally interesting.  So here is the plan....

1.  Getting my blog an actual theme.  This means a certain topic to write about.  In my case it could be about homeschool, book reviews, life by the beach, crafting, being a mom, being southern and all of it's eccentricities, or being the wife of a husband who works so much he is often not home until very late or working through to the next day. hmmmm...

2. Actually writing on the blog instead of forgetting about it.

3. Not editing my own blog and thoughts.  Write what I think and not be afraid to speak my mind. another hmmmm...goes here.

Finally, I could throw in the towel, write whatever ramblings are on my mind and leave it at that.

So what do you think?

A Feminists worst nightmare

I would not call myself a feminist by a long shot.  I have never been one and even as a child had formed some pretty  "old-fashioned" views of what I wanted to do in the world.

1.  Serve God with everything I have got.
2.  Raise my child to be a servant of God
3.  Faithful and true to my Love, my husband, my handsome man

I have encountered along my path, however, some adversity.  Women out there who of course know better than I, and know what God wants for my life more than He.  Well I have never said anything because it isn't purposeful but Ms. Jasmine Baucham has written a few things....

 "If you choose to train to become a homemaker -if you choose to live at home with your parents and serve your family until you become a wife and mother -if you live under the jurisdiction of your parents until you are given in marriage to a godly young man to whom you choose to submit...

Expect some stones to fly in your direction.
Don't be surprised when you receive snide remarks -and don't be shocked with mischaracterization -and don't shrink back when others mock and deride you.
But, also, don't lose heart. You are different -you are counter-cultural -you are purposeful -

And you're a threat. 

Yes, you!
You are a hard-core feminist's worst nightmare
-you are chock-full of potential
-you are beautiful
-you are industrious -you are intelligent...
and you've chosen to pour that
-every ounce of it
-not a drop left
-not a stone left unturned

-into your family." 

Definitely read more here.  This is a good source of encouragement for stay-at-home moms, daughters, homeschooling moms, or any mom who puts her family's need above her own.  Much love people. Much love to you all!